Apparently a significant number of new businesses fail because of under capitalisation.

IF YOUR BUSINESS IS STRUGGLING, PLEASE FEEL FREE TO USE THIS SENTENCE.

(p.s. if you need more, I’ll write more)

thomas valaitis finance capitalization

The train is pulling into the station,  2 hour journey ahead, you have a laptop, there are (always)  a limited number of available seatsthat have a desk and plug. There are a selection of elderly, disabled, pregnant, (you know the type of crowd)  folks on the platform waiting for the train to stop.

Do you:

a) wait politely in line and board the train in an orderly fashion leaving seating arrangements to chance.

b) leap on like an arsehole knowing that politeness may cost you a couple of hours of work?

It’s a tough one …just a good job I have no conscience, and lots of impatient clients.

thomas valaitis Uncategorized, finance, success strategies arsehole, polite, queue, selfish, train

This is really (really) simple..ready?

1. sort all of your bills in order of amount, with the smallest at the top, and the largest at the bottom.
2. pay the top one
3. still got some cash?…”yes”…great, pay the next one…repeat step 3 until the answer is “no”
4. with the time you saved not worrying about the impact of alienating yourself from one particular creditor over another, you can make a lemon drizzle cake*

Prioritising bills (other than by agreed terms) may not always seem fair and democratic, but hey, this is Business not North Korea.

*you may choose a straight victoria sponge if you prefer.

thomas valaitis finance, reputation creditors, paying bills, prioritising, suppliers

Here are a selection of potential uses for petty cash receipts:

1. Pet bedding
2. Toilet paper
3. Papier mache
4. conffetti
5. Shotgun wadding
6. Soft toy stuffing
7. Packaging for delicate items
8. errrr….errrrr….ok there is no 8, so I guess you could just keep them together and make your accounting easier.

thomas valaitis finance accounting, petty cash, receipts

The best short term strategy for us all to improve our cash flow, is to ensure our familys affairs are in order.

Swine flu looks like it has the potential to give your bank balance a real boost.

Give your * a ring tonight, ask how he/she is. You don’t need to use the word Will, but it can help.

*insert wealthy relative here

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According to a recent poll, 116% of business owners admitted to having only a basic grasp of maths.

thomas valaitis finance facts, maths, statistics

Hopefully you will already have a really bad logo and company brand to start with. If you don’t then either get a child to do one for you, or have a go in MS Word and be sure to over use clip art. Remember, you want your stationary to look a mess.

The most important thing to know about company stationary is that it is an opportunity for you to confuse and annoy people. Not just any people…your customers.

1. Make sure your contact details and address are not obviously located (pro tip: don’t include any contact info at all)
2. Use a tiny font if you are printing, or illegible hand writing if you want to go the extra mile and give it that personal touch.
3. Don’t tell people what they are paying for on invoices, and certainly don’t break down hourly or tax rates – this will only lead to questions later.
4. Don’t tell people how to pay. Be sure not to include bacs details or cheque requirements. Do you take credit/debit cards?..be sure not to mention it.
5. Don’t tell people how long your payment terms are.

Once this process is complete, you can be sure that nobody will  pay you on time, some may not bother at all, and your super bad invoicing stationary will  have done it’s job.

thomas valaitis finance, recession

You have 2 options really:

1. Keep it in your pocket: Unfortunately you risk getting mugged and losing it all.
2. Put it in the bank: Unfortunately you guarantee getting mugged but you’ll only lose a percentage.

thomas valaitis finance