I used to have a dog that chased after cars, snapping at the tyres.

A split second was all it would take, and she’d be off!

I often wondered what Dodie (the family dog) would do if she actually reached the car.

She knew she wanted to chase a car tyre, I’m certain she didn’t know why, and I can’t imagine the mess if she’d actually caught up with one.

What’s your equivalent of Dodie’s car tyre fantasy?

The problem with having your own car tyre fantasy is that if you knew you were chasing after a horror show, you’d probably stop.

There are whiskers and rubber all over my offices on a regular business.

Not literally.

thomas valaitis random aims, chasing cars, fantasy, purpose

Has your business been struggling a bit at times in the last year?

Well, don’t worry you’re not alone.

It would seem the worlds largest Diamond producer, De Beers was £140m in the red last year.

Now, this may be a gross over-simplification, but if you can’t make money picking diamonds up off the floor, well, god help the rest of us.

thomas valaitis random diamonds, rough year

At last a solution to Britain’s financial woes.

The number of people unnecessarily claiming unemployment and incapacity benefits is about to reduce to record lows!

Jeremys off to the states!

Hurrah!

thomas valaitis random benefits, jeremy kyle

Jesus turned water into wine. Wine is fundamentally very similar to water, but that’s impressive none the less.

Bankers turned a house you couldn’t afford to pay for, into a super yacht paid for with cash.

(Jesus 0 : 1 Bankers)

Jesus was crucified.

Bankers turned a global recession into record breaking profits and bonus payouts.

(Jesus 0 : 2 Bankers)

thomas valaitis random bankers, jesus

Are you the person that responds to that spam advert for SEO or viagra?

Are you the person that trys to wipe out your credit card debt on a technicality courtesy of an automated telephone call message?

Are you the person that picks up the phone to “no win no fee” lawyers if you pour coffee over yourself?

If you are, please stop it. There’s no point asking the people that are making money out of you.

thomas valaitis random no win no fee, spam

How the hell can a British chocolate company be worth £12bn. I mean seriously?!?!

that’s £200 or 500 bars of chocolate for every single person in the UK.

It must be you buying it, because it’s definitely not me!

thomas valaitis random cadburys, chocolate, takeover

Too much. Well, probably some of yours.

Does Simon Cowell make his money from the winner of the X factor and the Christmas number 1?

Or from the 325 former contestants wheeled out to perform on the show?

Or from the album sales of his artists touted on the adbreaks (which are at times only 7 minutes apart)?

Or from commercial rights to the songs?

Or from the live vote?

Or from the “win a VIP trip” competitions?

Or from the special live tour which follows the series?

Or from growing his own personal exposure and brand?

Or from the growth of Cheryl Cole as a brand?

Or from the “Susan Boyle” album, tour and television program?

No. He makes it from you.

Feeling exploited?

Well I guess you shouldn’t, because you probably enjoyed it.

Unless your wife makes you watch / listen to it.

Smart guy.

thomas valaitis random

So far, I have been given:

a cold

a bug

several headaches

lots of bills

It’s going to be a belter of a xmas.

thomas valaitis random

The freakonomics blog have started an interesting discussion on value.

Is feeding a large family in Malawi for 2 months worth the same to you as a round of Golf or a trip to the theatre? (It costs about the same)

Is a new house worth a week of John Terry’s footballing services?

If people are judging the value your product or service in “feeding African family” terms, you’re in big trouble.

thomas valaitis random

The time has come to replace a very important member of our team.

Arguably the one responsible for getting rid of (nearly) all of my worst ideas.

Never underestimate the contribution of your whiteboard eraser.

thomas valaitis random