It’s amazing how ridiculous are some of the questions we all get asked sometimes at work.

The problem is, if you’ve been doing something for a long time (mending cars, building websites, town planning) you can’t imagine what it’s like to not know at least the basics.

Many people underestimate how much they actually know about a subject, partly because are surrounded by peers that know as much or more, and partly because what once seemed new and powerful knowledge now seems old hat.

The point is that for most of us a good deal of our target market are virgins to our industry (first mortgage, wedding, car, website, baby, colonic irrigation, consultant).

Explaining fundamental concepts to new customers may be as annoying as hell sometimes, but if you hold their hand to begin with, they may let you be their first.

thomas valaitis customer services, reputation new customers, stupid questions

Interesting (ish) article over on Reuters about auditing your image. 2 Things really leaped out at me:

1. “…remember that it is usually not in employees’ best interests to point out any problems they might end up being assigned to fix or for which they might be blamed.”
   If this describes your office culture…well, good luck anyway (shudder).
2. “A confused mind always says no.”
   That’s a really good point, how hard do you try to make sure the most common questions that occur to your customers are taken care of before they are asked? (The point is that I guess they don’t always get asked). How clear is your message?

thomas valaitis reputation, staff, success strategies blame culture, clarity

Lot’s of new small business owners seem to “dine out” on one big past glory.

“In my old company we had 164 employees, we dealt with all the big companies, we didn’t buy our own lunch, I flew 1st class, I only spoke to CEO level….” (listener yawns)

The problem with one big past glory, is that it probably required a number of great minds to make it happen. Were you a driver, or a passenger? (Be honest).

The problem with a past glory, is that it was in the past and I am talking to you today.

“Dining out” implies somebody else is doing the cooking. Perhaps it’s time to go self catering?

thomas valaitis reputation dining out, past success

Arguments don’t have to be negative. Sometimes it’s good to clear the air, and sometimes it’s just good to make yourself feel better by making somebody else feel worse (like a bully, except it’s not bullying because you’re not at school).

There is only 1 way to conduct a dignified and respectful argument, and that’s face to face. Fortunately being dignified and respectful is not a requirement of business, so I recommend you let rip into people via email.

When conducting an email argument use CAPITAL LETTERS to emphasise the really IMPORTANT points, and lots of exclamation marks to show DISGUST!!!

Try to get personal. Any good orator or presenter will tell you that you need to use certain tactics to ensure the audience stays interested and remembers the event. Getting personal in an argument will help in the same way.  It’s possible that a personal comment will stick with your opponent for years (a prominent physical feature or a sensitive moment in history should do the trick). Head shot.

Defy logic. Have you ever heard the expression “he/she can’t be reasoned with”…I’d call that a route to victory.

Always remember, it’s the win that counts. Each argument you win is a step towards avoiding future confrontation. Like using nuclear weapons.

thomas valaitis reputation

Nothing takes 5 minutes. That’s one of the most depressing rules of business.

You can visualise the task, you can see all the elements of it fitting together, you have equipment, the inclination, the will, the space…it’s a 5 minute job right?

Then the phone rings.

Then you load up your pc, and it starts doing an update or you realise you have the wrong size screwdriver.

Then a client walks in.

Then a colleague needs some help.

Then there’s a fire drill.

then you get a really important email.

It should take 5 minutes, but it doesn’t. Nothing does.

Never quote 5 minutes, never plan for 5 minutes, never assume 5 minutes.

5 Minutes only exists in that linear task focussed part of your brain the filters the noise of a normal day.

thomas valaitis reputation

A competitor copies your prices, products, initiatives, wording, strategy etc?

Well, on the one hand “##@!%**!”

But, on the other hand it does show that people are looking to you for industry leadership. You can’t take that to the bank, but it’s a hell of  a pat on the back right?

thomas valaitis legal, reputation

Reading and understanding this post is significantly more likely to enhance your reputation very quickly.

That’s a pretty weasely statement right? It doesn’t really mean anything, there aren’t any time scales or real guarantees and it’s claims are pretty hard to quantify.

New business owners very regularly seem to feel the need to lie weasel to people about their product, service, delivery, reputation, experience etc.

Maybe it’s a misconception about what marketing is…or maybe it’s a napoleon complex. Either way, it operates on the basis that people are stupid.

People aren’t stupid. (OK, some are stupid…but it’s still important not to weasel).

Here are some examples of weaseling:

“we have over 25 years experience between us” (50 people with 6 months experience?)

“we have worked with XYZ PLC” (in previous companies providing unrelated services)

“only £5.99″ (per month, plus vat, set-up fee not included, 3 months initial offer rate only)

“we trade worldwide” (I once sold xyz to somebody in Hong Kong on ebay)

“up to 50% off”

Don’t weasel…or I wont buy from you. If you need to lie about your offer, change your offer.

thomas valaitis marketing, reputation

10 ways not to answer the phone

1. “what!”
2. “hang on”
3. (silence)
4. “welcome to (insert business name)…Press 1 for sales, press 2….”
5. “so I told him he can just go fuc…Oh, hello”
6. “whazzzzzzzzuuuuuuuup”
7. “not another one!”
8. “can I help” (YUK)
9. “aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaachooooooo”

OK, I only have 9, so I wont waste your time. Go make some money.

thomas valaitis customer services, reputation

Work isn’t about work, it’s about results.

If you don’t take a break, you’ll be respected for working hard, but you wont be admired for poor results. Let’s say (make up) you only achieve 80% of your potential when you are consistently burnt out. But take praise out of the equation, you’re the boss, you do it for love and / or money.

If you take too many breaks, your less likely to get good results, and you definitely wont be praised for working hard. Let’s say (make up) you only achieve 80% of your potential when you take too much holiday.

There’s very little difference between taking too much and too little holiday except a bit of martyrdom. Why not stick to a normal amount.

thomas valaitis random, reputation, success strategies

<song>”no, no, no, no, no ,no, no, no, no, no, no, no, there’s no limit…“</song>

“I’m sorry sir that line is engaged, would you like to continue holding?”

“ye..”

<song>”no, no, no, no, no ,no, no, no, no, no, no, no, there’s no limit…“</song>

“I’m sorry sir that line is engaged, would you like to continue holding?”

“wel..”

<song>”no, no, no, no, no ,no, no, no, no, no, no, no, there’s no limit…“</song>

“I’m sorry sir that line is engaged, would you like to continue holding?”

“fuc..”

<song>”no, no, no, no, no ,no, no“</song>

If you can, find out how long  your customer with the longest wait was on hold for in the last month…and give it a whirl yourself. How did you find that experience?

Pretty crap huh?

Tips:

Use more than one song

No greensleeves, and particularly not played in that child’s toy piano tone

No (very long) silences

Sales messages can be interesting in moderation

An apology sounds week after the 75th automated rendition

Classical guitar or french jazz or just a simple (not too) infrequent beep is fine.

Too Unlimited is not.

thomas valaitis random, reputation