Customer “How spicy is the thai red curry”

Waitress “I don’t know”

Customer “Will I end up sweating and crying if I eat it”

Waitress “I’ve never had it”

Maybe generations have contributed to the recipe, maybe there are a variety of options to customise the spicyness, maybe if you actually gave a damn you could tell me a story about the curry to make the dish exciting.

If you spend millions (or less) of pounds developing a product / service, should you spend minimum wage on the bit the customer gets to see?

thomas valaitis marketing, reputation, staff

How good does it sound when somebody promises to have “it” ready in 1 hour (day, month, year)…how crap is it when they fail to deliver?

How bad does it sound when somebody breaks the news that “it’s” going to take 3 hours (days, months, years)…how fantastic is it when they deliver early?

To build a business, you’ve got to get the sale of course. To sustain a business, the last interaction you need to have with each customer needs to be a positive one.

thomas valaitis reputation, success strategies

Tell them this:

Good results and figures are like food for business owners. The more full you are, the less often you will ask when the next meal is.

(Note of caution to the pestered: The more fat your boss gets, the more frequently she will expect to eat!)

thomas valaitis leadership, reputation, staff

Everyone knows the type;

Wears next to nothing, often a bitch, spends most weekends and evenings on all fours.

But is it appropriate to bring pets into work?

Some people love dogs and some people hate dogs. Most people sit firmly in one camp. It’s not important to please everybody, and companies that try usually have no identity. However, you also have to consider the possibility of alienating the one important visitor that could change everything.

note: If you run a butchers, cattery or sexual health clinic this should be an easy decision.

thomas valaitis customer services, random, reputation

When appointing a web design company, it would sure help if their own website didn’t look rubbish.

When finding a personal shopper, it would definitely be encouraging if they didn’t dress like a bag of shit.

When choosing an interior design company, it would be great if their office/showroom wasn’t a dump.

When selecting a financial advisor, you would prefer them not to be going through bankruptcy proceedings.

When visiting a hairdresser, it would be good if their hair looked good.

When hiring a salesperson (if you have to) it would be useful if they could sell themselves.

When recommending a gym, it would be good if you are not fat.

It’s incredible how many of us don’t take our own medicine, and then fail to understand why others aren’t willing to taste it.

thomas valaitis random, reputation double standards

This is really (really) simple..ready?

1. sort all of your bills in order of amount, with the smallest at the top, and the largest at the bottom.
2. pay the top one
3. still got some cash?…”yes”…great, pay the next one…repeat step 3 until the answer is “no”
4. with the time you saved not worrying about the impact of alienating yourself from one particular creditor over another, you can make a lemon drizzle cake*

Prioritising bills (other than by agreed terms) may not always seem fair and democratic, but hey, this is Business not North Korea.

*you may choose a straight victoria sponge if you prefer.

thomas valaitis finance, reputation creditors, paying bills, prioritising, suppliers

I’m not a big fan of cricket, but having recently signed up to receive a Sky HD box I found some of their marketing quite amusing.

Currently running on TV is an ad suggesting you sign up to SKY HD with the promise of incredible detail and clarity to deepen your enjoyment of this years Ashes series.

Having signed up myself, I now know the current wait time for their HD box is 3 months…coinciding nicely with the end of the Ashes.

I only know this because I signed up. You only get to know what you’re buying into once you have bought it. If you give a full toss about the Ashes, you may be slightly disappointed.

Rule 1: Get the signature

Rule 2: Somebody elses problem.

thomas valaitis marketing, reputation ashes, sky hd

It’s not uncommon to be sat in a room with 2 (or 20) people that seem t0 know much more than you.

The truth is that people do know a lot more than you…about some things. But that’s ok, you can’t be the best, or know the most about everything (unless you are Bear).

The problem is we forget this.

The more these people speak, the more inadequate you feel.

The more inadequate you feel, the less you speak.

The less you speak, the more the conversation will drift away from subjects you know.

This can be a vicious circle.

The only way to break the circle, is to be at the centre of it, engaging, asking, discussing and generally helping to shape conversations (which can be done by asking questions as well as answering them). Get this out out of the way at the beginning of a meeting/event/party/conference/date etc and you’ll be in good shape.

But some people don’t necessarily have the confidence to walk to the middle of the room and say “can you tell me about…” so what should you do?

Get drunk! That’s right, get absolutely hammered before every meeting/event/party/conference/date and you will never have to worry about being on the periphery again, for the rest of your short life.

There is an enjoyable solution to every problem in life.

thomas valaitis networking, reputation confidence, drinking, knowledge, meetings

Think about what matters to your customers in relation to your product or service, and then forget it.

Every day I drive past a restaurant in my town that says “air conditioned Indian restaurant” in big, bold lettering on the front.

Now we do get the occasional hot day in the UK, maybe 15 of them per year, but as a British citizen, and regular diner-out,  I can honestly say for 350 days of the year my number one criteria in choosing a place to eat is not their ability to cool air. Perhaps if I lived in Uluru, but not the Midlands.

thomas valaitis reputation features, signage

one that will buy anything?*

one that is daft enough to fall for your meaningless claims?*

one that isn’t discerning enough to recognise a rushed job?*

one that is to meek to complain?*

one that wont check your prices against the competition?*

one that doesn’t mind if you deliver late?*

one that doesn’t have an opinion or ask to many questions?*

On the other hand, maybe we should embrace those customers that push, and complain, and haggle, and question, and compare, and insist, and stretch…and do all those things that increase what you know, and how much you offer, by the time you have finished dealing with them.

No, I wont either. See you on Rogue Traders.

*watch the quiet ones.

thomas valaitis reputation, success strategies complaints, perfect customer, quiet customers