Interesting (ish) article over on Reuters about auditing your image. 2 Things really leaped out at me:
- “…remember that it is usually not in employees’ best interests to point out any problems they might end up being assigned to fix or for which they might be blamed.”
If this describes your office culture…well, good luck anyway (shudder).
- “A confused mind always says no.”
That’s a really good point, how hard do you try to make sure the most common questions that occur to your customers are taken care of before they are asked? (The point is that I guess they don’t always get asked). How clear is your message?
thomas valaitis reputation, staff, success strategies blame culture, clarity
Apparently BA are to retrain their baggage handlers as air cabin crew.
Hmm, based on my experience watching my bags get loaded onto planes, I’m not sure I’d trust them to distribute hot drinks at ten thousand feet.
Here’s an idea…why not train them to handle baggage correctly so when I put 30 stickers on my guitar case that say “Fragile”, it is placed rather than hurled into the cargo bay.
I suggest you take a flask with you next time you take a flight…oh hang on…you can’t because that would make you a terrorist.
Hard to say which represents the greater risk I’d say.
thomas valaitis staff ba, baggage crew, cabin crew, terrorist
Also called a “mufty” day, a dress down day provides a relaxed atmosphere and a more comfortable environment for your staff to be themselves.
I propose most business should have 2 of these every week, but I suggest you go even further!
On these 2 days tell your staff they don’t even have to come into work.
thomas valaitis leadership, staff
Customer “How spicy is the thai red curry”
Waitress “I don’t know”
Customer “Will I end up sweating and crying if I eat it”
Waitress “I’ve never had it”
Maybe generations have contributed to the recipe, maybe there are a variety of options to customise the spicyness, maybe if you actually gave a damn you could tell me a story about the curry to make the dish exciting.
If you spend millions (or less) of pounds developing a product / service, should you spend minimum wage on the bit the customer gets to see?
thomas valaitis marketing, reputation, staff
Tell them this:
Good results and figures are like food for business owners. The more full you are, the less often you will ask when the next meal is.
(Note of caution to the pestered: The more fat your boss gets, the more frequently she will expect to eat!)
thomas valaitis leadership, reputation, staff
Can you discriminate against ugly people?
People who sell beauty products definitely do.
Certain bars and clubs definitely do.
So are you allowed to discriminate against the ugly where image is important?
What if I wanted to create the most beautiful accountancy firm in the world (not difficult)…could I turn down all the ugly applicants if it didn’t fit my strategy?
Perhaps there are some advantages to employing ugly people? Are they cheaper? Are they less likely to cheat on you (visit other interviews)?
Ugly rarely seems to come up as a discriminatory matter. It’s easy to think of yourself as disabled if you live in a wheelchair. Who thinks of themselves as ugly?
thomas valaitis discrimination, staff
Your staff make mistakes because they are (definitely in all instances) lazy and stupid. There is only one way to educate a lazy and stupid person… It’s with punishment. So with that in mind, here, for your use, is a sliding scale of methods of punishment to employ. You may only choose to go to level 1-3 for a simple and correctable issue such as lateness. You can escalate to levels 12+ for repeat offenders, people that put your business at risk or fans of Susan Boyle. Remember, if you are prepared to pull the trigger, eventually you wont need to carry a gun.
- verbal warning
- written warning
- report (possibly in conjunction with a primary colour to indicate severity…you are now on “yellow report”)
- fine
- pay cut
- demotion
- psycholocial bullying
- a smack
- prolonged physical bullying
- actual bodily harm
- grevious bodily harm
- manslaughter (fewer repercussions to you)
- murder (sends a message to the rest of your team)
- go for the family/kids
- ban cigarette breaks
Always remember…your job is to punish. Getting to the root of problems is for Jeremy Kyle, Sigmund Freud and and other mentalists.
thomas valaitis staff freud, jeremy kyle, lazy, mistakes, punishment, stupid, susan boyle
.. and Polish, French, Greek, Italian, Spanish… errr…OK British jobs for people within the EEA…unless you need a skilled professional in job shortage areas like a nurse, or a doctor, or a scientist…so…errrr….”unskilled British jobs for EEA residents and skilled British jobs in job shortage areas for anybody from the entire world (please)!” Good old sound-bytes, I wonder what other problems we can solve whilst whipping up a racist and xenophobic frenzy. Bloody Mexicans.
thomas valaitis staff immigration, job shortage, mexicans
Can you trust the average dog owner to pick up a big steaming turd and pocket it, unless someone is watching them?
How do you think that translates to customer service?
thomas valaitis customer services, staff customer services, dogs, turd
Most of your days are spent telling your staff how stupid they are, laced with a few other essential duties – right?
Well, consider what would happen if you spent a day (week?) having a go at answering the phones, or filling out the forms, or typing up the notes, or operating the cash register, or picking/packing stock?
Some might say you’d remember (realise?) what your business was all about.
Only problem is…your staff might (mistakenly) realise you’re stupid too. Forget it.
thomas valaitis leadership, staff, success strategies demoralise, dirty hands, essential tasks