Start a blog, it can be about anything you like, but for the purpose of this post I’ll suggest a light hearted look at business ownership.
Commit to adding one new post per day to this blog.
Then, get one of your more talented and creative members of the team to add a unique cartoon to each post every day.
Here’s the winning strategy…don’t do the post until 1 minute before that member of the team is due to leave, and then insist the cartoon be done that day for continuities sake.
(Sorry Bhups!)
thomas valaitis staff blogging, continuity, working hours
Music can lift the spirits of the team, cut a dry or mundane atmosphere, inspire creativity and set a general vibe.
For this reason you should always choose aggressive and racially focused gangster rap with liberal references to gun related crime and sexual violence.
Make sure the music is loud enough so that the words are clear.
thomas valaitis discrimination, staff music at work
No.
If 2 members of your team become romantically involved, the following disasters will definitely occur
- Your unfair and discriminate salary levels will be exposed
- Staff more loyal to each other than you will lead to demands for extra holiday and benefits
- Your insults and criticisms of each party in the relationship will be disclosed to the other
- The couple is very likely to start stealing from you
- Sexually transmitted infections could find their way back to you
- When the lovers fall out there will be a bad atmosphere in the office for everybody
- Most couples copulate on a regular basis in a shared workplace…the could include your desk or even your chair
You have a responsibility to ensure these romantic encounters and relationships do not occur. Use physical force or confidence shattering psychological warfare if necessary.
thomas valaitis staff office romance, relationships
A whiteboard can bring a meeting to life and it can put one to death. It is often the focal point of most peoples attention, and an idea can remain visible long after the intial point has been made. This can work against you if there are other peoples ideas on the board, particularly if they are rubbish ideas. Always remember…control the pens and you control the meeting.
Don’t be afraid to write profanities or draw genitals on the board during a meeting. This has impact and makes your other points stick in the mind. If you do this however, be sure to leave any offensive material visible for the next meeting, ideally one with an important customer or partner.
thomas valaitis leadership, networking, staff genitles, meetings, profanity, whiteboard
no. But, you should bring them in to make your staff fat.
thomas valaitis staff
Be sure to point out the age and sex of the person you are looking for. For senior positions you should consider listing a skin tone, religious or political preference for applicants. Why waste everybodies time after all?
Don’t tell people what the salary is, if they want the job it wont matter to them.
Don’t bother with a closing date, and try to be obscure about how people should reply. The really keen will respond immediately, even if they have not seen the ad.
If a lot of people do take the time to reply to your advert, don’t feel like you need to thank and notify each one if they are unsuccessful. They’ll get the message eventually.
thomas valaitis staff
The worst thing you can do as a leader is change your mind. Once a decision is made, you must stick to it regardless of the consequences.
Even in the face of compelling new information or circumstances, you must always stick to your original decision.
Altering decisions is week, and ultimately leads to all of your decisions being questioned by those around you.
thomas valaitis leadership, staff, success strategies
It’s time to take some of the power back that organisations such as ACAS and TU’s have taken from employers. Fewer jobs means fewer options and therefore fewer rights for employees.
It’s time to cut back on business non-essentials such as:
- team building
- training
- pay rises / bonuses
- workspace improvements
- social activities
- praise (although this is free, the new power shift means you don’t have to do anything you don’t want anymore)
When the good times return, a token bonus payment will fix any friction caused now.
thomas valaitis recession, staff
No. Dressing smart for work makes you look desperate and unimaginative. Letting your staff turn up in ripped jeans and stained T-shirts delivers a message that says “We are real people too! We just happen to be scruffy people.” Your customers will be able to extrapolate that you’ll be neat and tidy when carrying out your work.
thomas valaitis staff
You don’t go to work to make friends. You go to work because you can’t be trusted with credit and you don’t know how to grow your own vegetables.
thomas valaitis staff